Your Web Site:
Don't Attract The Wrong Kind Of Attention!

Women in the U.S. have known since girlhood that we always need to be careful with our personal safety. Those of us who become involved in belly dancing take on additional risks due to additional contact with the public and our choice of an activity that triggers sexual fantasies in some people.

The Internet has arisen as a highly effective tool for marketing our dance classes and availability as performers. But it also makes it easier for predators to target us and harass us.

The vast majority of people who visit your web site will be normal folk who just want to hire a dancer, take a class, or learn a little more about the dance. But there's also that tiny minority of potential criminals who may be looking for a victim. Your challenge is to provide appropriate information to the legitimate visitors, without attracting the wrong kind of attention from the predators. Here are some thoughts on how to design a web site that will market you as a dancer without exposing you to excessive risk.

Consider these moods that I've seen used on various dancers' sites, and think about what kind of person is likely to respond to each:

• Hiring a dancer is a great way to make a party more fun for everyone.
• The dance is a great way to get exercise and lose weight.
• The dance is seductive and sexual.
• Learning this dance will lead to a better understanding of Middle Eastern culture.
• The dance offers a way to explore your inner self.

And so on. A photo of you standing in a leotard and tights with a scarf tied around your hips will send a very different message compared to one of you performing a deep backbend in a skimpy bra that emphasizes your cleavage.

The mood you set on your top page is going to trigger a reaction in the people who visit your site. If you emphasize the sensual/sexual side of the dance, you're more likely to get the attention of the pornography crowd. In contrast, if you emphasize the exercise aspect, your site will attract people who are interested in fitness. And so on.

As you plan the contents of your home page, think about what basic message you want to convey about belly dancing to first-time visitors, and what kind of people you hope will respond to that message. Then choose text and photos to match.

Many dancers put photo galleries of themselves and their troupes on their web sites. Most of us would feel flattered to learn that a man somewhere was admiring these pictures of us. However, these photo galleries often attract a less innocent kind of attention--men who try to act on their fantasies in real life rather than restrict themselves to just admiring pictures.

Of course, photos are a valuable tool for promoting yourself. But think carefully about how and where you use them on your web site. If Internet safety is important to you, consider burying your photo gallery a couple of levels deep into your site.

For example, at the level of the home page, you might have a menu choice for "About Our Troupe" or "About Me, Maryam The Magnificent" that leads to a mostly-text page describing how long you've been dancing, your philosophy toward the dance, what your dance style is like, etc. This page might have only one or two photos. Then, far enough down on the page that it won't show unless the user scrolls down a bit, you can place your link to the photo gallery. This approach offers you a chance to show off your photos, but does so in a way that is less likely to attract ogling.

Put an "about me" section that has some innocuous biographical information. This might include the city where you grew up (but not where you currently live), other kinds of dance you have studied over the years, how you first got started in belly dance, how many years you have been dancing, what you do for a day job, etc.

Now, spike it with a deterrent to men who may be looking for a sex object to stalk. Most people would probably agree that in this situation, it's okay to lie. It could be:

• A photo of you with your very large, very toothy German shepherd along with a comment that he's very protective of you.
• A photo of a man that you identify as your husband, significant other, or brother who lives next door.
• A discussion of your black belt in a martial art with a photo of you in your ghi. Or, your enthusiasm for target practice at the shooting range with your gun.
• Comments about how proud you are of your adult son's career in the Marine Corps and his sharpshooter medal.

The idea is to suggest, "I am not helpless. I can defend myself quite well, and I have people close to me who take care of me."

This photo of Shira and her husband appears very visibly on the web site. He is also mentioned in various articles on the site.

PHOTO CREDIT: Photo by John Rickman Photography, San Jose, California, 1997.

In the interests of safety, there is some information you should avoid placing on your web site. This would include:

• The address of your house or apartment.
• Your home telephone number. Use the telephone number for your day job, or set up a second phone number for your dance business that rings straight to a voice mail account. For extra safety points, ask a male friend or family member to record the greeting on the voice mail for you. If you teach through a community-sponsored program or studio, publish the phone number for their office instead of publishing your personal number.
• Genealogical information. Your mother's maiden name is often used as a kind of password by banks and credit card companies. A criminal could potentially use this information to get access to your bank accounts.
• Anything else that could make you more vulnerable to a stalker or identity thief.
• A schedule of when you'll be out of town teaching workshops -- that effectively invites would-be burglars to help themselves to the contents of your home while you're gone.

In short, think carefully about what kind of information you provide, and how it could potentially be misused before you post it on your site.

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