She Assaulted The Musicians!
The
musicians took their place on stage and warmed up. They announced
the lovely dancer, who wafted into view in an Egyptian-style
entrance, carrying her flowing veil behind her. The audience
was entranced.
She took her place on stage, just in front of the musicians'
platform, and began to spin. The audience noticed that the musicians
were struggling to keep playing because they were trying to avoid
being repeatedly smacked in the face by the edge of her veil.
As she continued dancing, everyone was either sympathizing with
the menaced musicians or chortling at their dilemma. The dance
itself had lost their attention.
June Was Busting Out All Over
The music started, and the dancer was announced. She materialized
on stage wrapped in her veil and began to dance. Her enthusiasm
for the occasion was contagious, and soon the audience was clapping
in time to her high-energy music. It was a great beginning!
Her opening song eventually concluded and flowed into a soft,
lyrical piece of music. With beautiful, graceful movements she
removed her veil and began to dance with it. With the veil removed,
the audience couldn't help but notice that her costume bra was
much too skimpy for a family restaurant. One family who hadn't
ordered yet got up and left. A group of young college men gazed
eagerly at her breasts, hoping she would pop out. A woman accused
her boyfriend of gazing excessively at the dancer's attributes
and soon they were fighting.
The veil portion of the dance ended, and the music sped up.
Two women started talking about how embarrassing it would be
for this dancer if she popped out. Soon the audience was buzzing
with whispers. When she did a tiny shoulder shimmy, several people
in the audience gasped for fear they would see something they
didn't want to see.
Eventually her music reached another slow section. She turned
her back to the audience, and proceeded to descend to the floor
in a wonderful backbend. But nobody admired the skill required
to do it. They were too busy speculating with each other about
whether the shifting of her breasts caused by the backbend would
be the final trigger that would release them from their sequined
cage.
Everybody was certainly gazing at the dancer in rapt attention.
But it wasn't her dance they were watching.
When she originally planned her costume, she thought she was
emphasizing one of the more attractive parts of her body. But
she took it too far--she emphasized it so much that people didn't
even notice anything else about her show.
The Fan Club
Along with some of her friends, the dancer was performing
at a nursing home. The audience were seated at the edges of the
room, with the performers appearing in the center. The ceiling
was about 8 feet high, with a large ceiling fan lazily turning.
Everything seemed fine during the opening numbers. But when
it came time for her to do her veil solo, the audience couldn't
help but notice that the veil kept striking the ceiling fan.
Throughout her dance, they gazed at the fan, wondering whether
the blades would catch the veil and rip it out of her hand.
As it happened, she was able to complete her dance without
incident. But unfortunately, nobody remembered a thing about
the beautiful dance she'd worked so hard to present! They had
been watching her veil flirt with the ceiling fan throughout
her entire dance!
They're Not Here To See The Full Moon!
She was on an elevated stage, in a restaurant. She was wearing
only one layer of skirt, with no pantaloons under it. There were
slits in the center front, which she arranged to expose her bare
legs up to mid-thigh.
As she danced, the slits opened up and gave the audience a
clear view of her white panties which contrasted with the color
of the skirt. They didn't look like the type of dance trunks
you'd expect to see on a ballroom dancer -- they looked like
underwear. One man in the audience was furious that this dancer
was blatantly exposing herself to his 4-year-old son. Another
woman studied them trying to determine whether that was "Monday"
she saw just above the crotch. A group of fellow dancers watching
her whispered to each other about how the least she could have
done was choose a color that matched.
It was partly because the stage was elevated, and partly because
the skirt's slits revealed a lot. Throughout her entire 20-minute
show, the audience was treated to a continuous view of her panties,
and they really didn't like it. She should have been wearing
dance trunks that blended with the costume, and she should have
selected a costuming and dance style that would not have flaunted
them so obviously. This performer was a belly dancer, not a cheerleader
or ice skater, and she should have dressed accordingly.
Flesh-colored underwear would not have been an improvement.
It would have made the audience fear she wasn't wearing anything
at all under her skirt.
A black thong wouldn't have been the right answer, either.
That too would have made people believe she wasn't wearing anything
at all.
Basically, this dancer should have followed the lead of ballroom
dancers and selected a skirt that rarely exposed her bottom.
And on the occasions when her bottom <I>was</I> accidentally
exposed, she should have been wearing undies that looked like
an extension of her costume.
Sometimes It's Better To Cut Your Losses
The troupe was performing a choreographed sword routine. One
dancer's sword began to slip, so she put her hands up to adjust
it. However, the adjustment wasn't quite right, and it slipped
again. She adjusted it again. And again. This continued throughout
the dance.
The audience noticed the problems that dancer was having,
and soon people were nudging their neighbors and whispering about
"that poor dancer". They quit watching everyone else,
and with the kind of morbid fascination that goes with watching
a train wreck they focused on this one dancer and kept awaiting
the next sword wobble.
The dancer with the rebellious sword should have quit trying
to steady it after the second failed attempt. Depending on the
choreography, she could have either kicked the sword out of the
way and finished the dance without it on her head, or she could
have quietly picked it up and unobtrusively left the stage with
it. Either one would have been better than continuing to draw
attention to herself and her problems throughout the entire dance.
Another time, a male dancer performed veil work with a cape
on an outdoor stage. The wind sprung up and tangled him in his
cape. Rather than fighting the wind for his entire dance, he
untangled himself, tossed the cape out of the way, made his fingers
into a pistol and aimed a "shot" at the cape as if
putting it out of his misery. The audience laughed and applauded--the
tension created by his dilemma was broken. He then finished his
dance without the cape.
The Wrong Accessory
A dancer was performing double veil in a Christmas show. On
her head, she was wearing a Santa hat. The entire show went flawlessly--not
a blooper in sight.
Afterward, an audience member came to her and congratulated
her for her skill. The spectator said that when she noticed the
Santa hat, she immediately became concerned it was going to interfere
with the veil performance. She said she didn't even remember
what the dancer's show really looked like, because she kept gazing
at the Santa hat waiting for it to fall off or tangle in the
veils. She was very impressed that the hat stayed on the dancer's
head the whole time, and that was obviously a tribute to the
dancer's skill.
Well, maybe.
Another way to look at it is that the dancer erred in wearing
the Santa hat in the first place. If it drew attention away from
the dance, it was obviously a bad costume decision.
In Conclusion
It's always a good idea to examine our stages ahead of time
and evaluate whether any of our costumes or props may be unsuitable
for a given situation. We need to assess the impact that stage
size, band location, and features such as ceiling fans may have
on the success of the props and dance moves we choose.
While most of us would agree that it's good to select costumes
that show off our shapely legs or generous bosoms, we need to
do so with moderation--when we expose a little, the audience
might admire it. When we expose too much, the audience will be
gazing at the exposed body part rather than enjoying the dance
itself.
While we can't anticipate everything that could go wrong,
the mark of a true professional dancer is someone who understands
these obvious basics and plans ahead to ensure they won't interfere
with her own performance. She:
- Practices in her costume in advance and asks a knowledgeable
colleague to critique any distractions it may present.
- Makes costume repairs promptly.
- Visits the place she'll be performing ahead of time to evaluate
stage size and shape, band placement, etc.
- Watches lots of other dancers perform and notes whether their
shows include distractions that she herself should try to avoid.
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